I originally wrote “How to Screen Your Dominatrix” in 2011 after many clients told me some truly appalling stories about other “dommes” they had sessioned with. I decided to revisit and update in hopes to prevent others from having a bad experience. Although much of the information is the same, technology and the industry has changed a lot in the last 4 years.

“How To Screen Your Dominatrix” is two fold: 1) First, make sure that the person you are dealing with is legitimate and 2) Second, make sure that this legitimate person is one who you want to see.

1. Social media – does she have a social media presence? Does it correspond to her travel dates and times? Do her non-professional photos, i.e. selfies, look reasonably close to her professional ones?

2. Google image search her photos – I have had my photos stolen several times. Every time I have found out about these fake ads, I have gotten them taken down, but there’s no way for me to know if there are more I don’t know about or if there are people who have given that scammer money before I have been able to take them down.

3. Ads – Because I have had my photos stolen so often with fake ads/scams, I now post ads with my twitter, instagram, e-mail and website so you can verify that I am really coming to your city. Most dommes will also post corresponding travel info on their websites and social media.

4. Deposits – Asking for a deposit is not a red flag from someone who is a well-established domme, it just means her time is valuable and cancellations are always an issue for any appointment setting business, however, if you cannot determine that this is a legitimate domme based on all the other criteria I have listed, then don’t give her a deposit. Also, don’t tell an obviously well-established domme that you are not going to give her a deposit because someone else ripped you off. That was your problem for not doing your due diligence, don’t make it hers.

5. Does she have a website? e-mail address? phone number? The more legitimate ways you have to contact her, the more likely she is legit. Enter any or all into a search engine. Do they all lead back to the same and one person? Or are there discrepancies?

6. How quickly does she get back to you? Sometimes correspondence gets lost or buried, so you can reach out again.

7. Is she independent or with an agency/house? If she is not independent, then the place she is working for controls her pictures/content and may be blatantly making it up. Doing out call? then they might just send someone else.

8. Does she have longevity? The longer she’s been a professional the more likely she is experienced and knows what she’s doing. You can check how long her website and social media have been up – be suspicious if they are very recent.

9. Where does she session? Well-equipped studio? Well-equipped toy bag? Ask specifics. Are there recent pictures of her playspace and equipment? I session at two well established dungeons, Dungeon West and Dungeon East.

10. How does she respond to reasonable requests? If you ask politely, “Mistress, I love the look of leather. Could you please wear some for our session?” and her response is: “I’ll wear whatever I want.” I guarantee this is NOT going to be a good session.

11. Reviews – Unfortunately unlike escorts and restaurants, there are less places to review Dommes, but places like Maxfisch and other domme boards do exist. Others will place those reviews directly to their site like I do here.

12. Referrals – Is your favorite domme retiring/taking time off/moving? Ask her for a referral, she’s the best source as someone who knows your needs and knows other Dommes in the scene. Check Her link page to find her friends in other cities too. I have happily made recommendations for my regular clients if I happened to be out of town or if he was traveling somewhere else.

13. Photos – How old are her photos? Are they the same ones you have seen for years? She probably doesn’t look like that anymore. I tend to do 1-2 formal photo shoots a month – which is more than most, but I’m lucky to have two of my own dungeons to shoot in and a slave that is a photographer – that I publish on my sites with a date as well as post candids on my Twitter or Instagram.

Is there a copyright date? Is that more than 2 years old – it’s likely something has changed.

If she doesn’t look like her picture, if she doesn’t have equipment needed for your session, if she treats you unprofessionally, then do not make an appointment! I have NEVER heard a client tell me, “I showed up to her place where she sessions out of her garage, not a studio like she said. She didn’t look like her picture. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, she didn’t have any of the equipment I specifically asked for, but wow, we had a great time!”

Stay safe, get beaten, have fun!